Sunday, January 08, 2006

Ding-Dong, The Witch Is Dead!

It’s a bit out of date, but I thought I might weigh in on Wednesday’s classic Rose Bowl. I am not going to attempt to hide my glee, though I must admit I never thought I’d find myself cheering this wildly for Texas in anything. It is true that the shirts that were removed at game’s end included my own. Although my previous post bore the headline “it’s as big as the promise, the promise of a coming day”, I spoke too soon. After what was mostly a miserable year for sports, the bad guys finally got what was coming to them. And how.

The real story of the game as USC’s utter ineptitude in containing Vince Young. That he was going to run early and often came as no surprise to anyone – except, apparently, the USC defense. It was a spectacle worthy of the great Hollywood epics – the parting of the Red Sea over and over again. USC’s “defense” ought to be taken out and whipped as a disgrace to the memory of previous units. Granted, you don’t replace a unit that includes Mike Patterson, Shaun Cody, Lofa Tatupu, Matt Grootegoed, and Jason Leach all at once, but I’ve seldom seen a defense demonstrate such a serious lack of pride. This is not, of course, meant to take anything away from Young, who was nothing short of miraculous on the biggest stage of his life. Now, when he says he needs to meet with his pastor, it’s to pray he’s not playing behind the Texans’ offensive line next year.

Honorable mention should go to tight end David Thomas, who went over the middle several times to preserve the Horns’ comeback bid, including an incredible sideways diving catch on one of their most critical drives. A reliable and fearless receiver who doesn’t get enough credit for his hand in shaping one of the comebacks of the century.

Most of all, it was great to see the wind vacate the sails of the obnoxious parade of sycophants and bandwagon-jumpers that has swelled USC’s already despicable fan base. Much has been made, for instance, of Matt Leinart’s friendship with Nick Lachey, the former Mr. Jessica Simpson. It’s a great country indeed when the golden-boy quarterback’s prestige is increased by hanging out with a mediocrity whose only claim to fame was having been married to one of the most vapid celebrities of our time. How about Spike Lee, former New York Knicks eyesore, and his late-season bid to catch the USC fan-cam? On the other hand, given the state of his directing career, whatever works, right?

What’s most disappointing is the people who root for USC because “you have to support the Pac-10”. This is wrong on so many levels. Ignoring the fact that the school is the right hand of Satan, it’s just stupid. I should suspend my bitter rivalry because they happen to be from my conference? As Voltaire was rumored to have said, “Le fuck that”. I don’t hate a team all year long and then turn around and support them because the prestige of the league is on the line. Does it somehow enhance the reputation of my school? Maybe if our games had been a little bit closer, but not really. Everyone knows that the Pac-10 is a second-rate league with no defense and one team that dominates the other ones, and the best way to change that perception is to have some of our other schools win every once in a while.

I actually talked to Stanford alumni this week who were rooting for USC in the Rose Bowl. To those unnamed people, you deserve to be stripped of your diplomas.


Blogger Chris said...

The frightening thing is that USC is considered a "hot" school these days. I can't wait until Paris Hilton enrolls there...she'd probably make the honor roll.

3:22 PM  

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