Thursday, July 21, 2005

Fallout

Well, folks, that certainly got a big weight off my chest - not to mention an intriguing mini-barrage of hate mail (this circulated within a Harry Potter group, so they tend to address me in the third person). At the risk of being wildly narcissistic, I include below some of the choicer comments. Names have been omitted, because some of these folks, as I learned later, are genuinely nice people, who, like everyone, have their own forgivable faults.

* * * * * * * * * * *

EL..... I FEEL SORRY FOR THE HARRY POTTER HATER, HE MUST HAVE HAD A HORRIBLE
CHILDHOOD WHO CARES WHAT THE NEWSPAPERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THE BOOK THAT IS
NOT THE POINT AND COMPARING IT TO A HAPPY MEAL HAS THIS POOR LAD HAD A
CHANCE TO BE HAPPY I DON'T THINK SO WE SHOULD BUY HIM ALL THE HARRY POTTER
BOOKS FOR HIS NEXT B-DAY OR X-MAS WHAT EVER COMES FIRST.HE NEED TO LEARN THE
IMPORTANCE OF USING ONES IMAGINATION.

And the email that started it all (thanks to Robby Wellington for alerting the Law Offices of Lawrence E. Biegel to my piddling little blog - as though productivity and morale weren't low enough already. Yes, Larry, I still love you):

Um....I have to say Gabe Rosen is a FOOL!!!!! I am sending this out
immediately to all my Harry Potter book friends and be prepared for some
HORRIBLE things to be said about your dear old buddy Gabe! Although... he
did entertain me with his burning insults of a book series I so dearly love.
Honestly, I make fun of all the media of it, and I was anti Harry Potter
until I picked up the first book and couldn't put it down. They really are
VERY good books...I just finished the fifth one last night (a week behind
schedule) and cried and cried (shocking I know) through the last two
chapters. For people with exceptional intelligence such as you and Gabe
Rosen...they might not be too challenging...but me with my public school
education...f-ing LOVE it! Tell Gabe to F off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wow. Instant controversy. Who do I attack next? Well, hopefully no one real. Anyway, it's been a great day. May it all continue.

In other news, some thoughts:

1. Today, while receiving Iraqi PM-elect Ibrahim Al-Jafaari, Iranian Ayatollah Khameini, "Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution", applauded Iraqi progress towards a post-Baathist (read; Shiite) state and declared that "Zionists are probably involved in planning" the recent rash of suicide bombings in Iraq. First of all, the Islamic Revolution was 26 years ago. What kind of self-respecting "revolution" turns into a fuddy-duddy establishment? I mean, this isn't even the same nutcase Ayatollah Khameini as before - excuse me, Khomeini. As for the Zionist conspiracy claim, anyone with this much imagination is clearly miscast as a radical cleric. I think he should be heeding his true calling - writing the fantasy novel that will challenge Harry Potter once and for all.

2. Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak is, on the other hand, plenty insane enough for Ayatollah-hood. After drafting the fat, lazy 17 year old Andrew Bynum with the 10th overall pick, he's gone and dealt Chucky Atkins and Caron Butler (both coming off career years) for Kwame Brown, the biggest bust since they nailed Al Capone for tax evasion. Could someone please stop this deranged lunatic before he deals Lamar Odom for Darko Milicic? Or did that already happen?

3. I really like grilled trout, with a sprig of rosemary and several lemons stuffed down its middle. Serve with a Bernardus sauvignon blanc, and you are indeed grillin'.

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